


Lux's Diary

by SpicyGayDisasters



Series: Lux's Diary [1]
Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game)
Genre: Bards, Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Oblivious Bard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-27 18:48:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30127251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpicyGayDisasters/pseuds/SpicyGayDisasters
Summary: Meet Lux: My D&D character who happens to be a bard
Series: Lux's Diary [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2217240





	1. Chapter 1

It was dark that day. It was so dark and cold. Any average person would have been shaking in their boots. But I am no ordinary person. I am a Queen. A Goddess. A God damn Beyonce.  
I stormed out of the tavern majestically and my natural glow lit up the entire city.  
"Get out of here you damn Bard"  
I swear some people just can't appreciate true art. It's a shame really.  
Stumbling from the many "stolen" drinks, I put my bagpipes back into its case and sat outside that tavern in protest, waiting for it to rain so I could dance about the streets cause honey, my life just is a rom-com. I was just about to get to the best bit "I'M SIIIINNNGGGING IN THE RAIIIIINNN" when some average-looking elf came titter-tatting over to me and had the audacity to say "Mam if you could please step off of the fountain and keep it down".  
I was not having this. The nerve of some people. And then, AND THEN, when I said no he grabbed my arm anyway. Obviously, I screamed " HELP, RAPE" because he touched me even after I said no and that's how this works. The look of panic on his face haha, priceless.  
It was at this point people began to look out the windows. Finally; an audience. I jumped on the opportunity and began tap dancing. I had never tap danced before, but I am good at everything.  
The guy was losing his patience by now (although God knows why, he got to touch my arm and now he was getting a free show) so he sat me down gently and begged "please stop. My Grandmother is ill and needs rest but you're being too loud".  
Of course, I'm no monster. His poor Grandmother! I felt terrible. So I followed him home and told his grandmother that her grandson was a rapist. If I was ill I wouldn't want some guy like that looking after me! I really am so charitable.  
Stay awesome  
Lux xx


	2. A day at jail :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can the law tie her down?

Right. So. You are not going to believe this.  
I was just strolling down the humble streets, giving strangers that nod of acknowledgment as I'd walk past them but mostly minding my own business when some guy walks up to me and tells me I'm not allowed to steal people's wallets. Like, why is it any of his business why I need money?? You just don't ask a girl about her financial situation. It's the height of bad manners. So anyway turns out he was a guard and he took me to some town prison place.  
This is when the story gets REAL crazy a'right? So you best listen up  
He sat me next to some guy in this little cell. He was kinda cute so I thought hey, this could be fun. I could make a new friend. And ain't nobody gonna blame a girl for tryin'.  
So I turned to him and said a simple "hiya", to which he just gave me a stone-cold look but he kinda raised his eyebrows a tad but still kept that kind of badassTM look in his eye and I was like ok ok ok ok cool cool cool cool cool cool I can work with this. So I scootched a little closer but got a hardcore smell of dandelions off him if u know what I mean. So I scootched back a bit, but u know what, I'm in prison I gotta get used to druggies I suppose. So I tried again. I figured I don't need to ask him what he's ik for so I skipped to the important questions.  
" So, you got a girlfriend? "  
"No"  
"That's cool, that's cool. Me neither"  
"Ok"  
"You play any instruments? "  
And this guy. THIS GUY. He turns to me and says "I once made a clarinet player scream so much the reed got stuck in her throat so I grabbed the clarinet and pulled it from her insides and smashed it against a wall. That made a lot of unpleasant noise. Does that count?"  
Oh perfect. Just fabulous. I'm stuck in here with a PSYCHOPATH!!! I can put up with a bad boy, maybe even a murderer if they're cute but this guy BROKE AN INSTRUMENT!!!!!!!  
All that was going through my brain was that I have got to get outta here. The guard had tried to take all of my belongings away from me, but a hard has her ways.  
I pulled a kazoo from my hair like it were a Bobby pin and started to make a racket. Pretty soon the guard came in and opened the cell to take it off me. But I am smart. I am elegant. I am undefeatable. I pirouette kicked him in the balls and skipped outta there while swiftly grabbing the wallets back, as well as pickpocketing the guard's wallet too. He noticed, but he was on the floor in agony and couldn't stop me.  
Moral of the story, always carry a kazoo in your hair.  
Lux xx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> by Green xx

**Author's Note:**

> By Green <3 xx :)


End file.
